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What are the 5 Love Languages?

What is love? A four-letter word that has been for centuries the popular topic of most books, poems, songs, and movies. Love is universal, eternal, and continues to be life’s greatest mystery. People around the world, no matter the culture, language, or society will experience love in many different ways throughout their lives. It is important to note that love comes in many forms, whether it is an unconditional love you may experience from a parent, or a romantic love you find with a partner, or the love you may have for a friend, neighbor or your pet. Love takes many forms and the way in which we experience it can be different for everyone. There are ways in which we show love and receive love from others, and according to author Gary Chapman, there are five love languages that we use to feel loved and appreciated. The five ways in which he believes we express our love for others are:


Words of Affirmation

This is shown by how we communicate with the ones we love. People whose primary love language is words of affirmation will show their love and affection for others through the spoken word with compliments, kind words, uplifting messages or texts to show the other person you are thinking about them. They may say things like “I’m proud of you” or “I love you” often.


Quality Time

This love language is shown by the quality of time you spend with your loved one. People with this love language enjoy spending uninterrupted time with each other, whether that is going on vacations with each other or just spending time together at home watching a favorite show or movie. Quality time also means actively being present and listening to one another.


Physical Touch

People with this love language feel loved through physical affection. Whether that is through a hug, holding hands, cuddling, a touch of the arm, or giving your loved one a massage. This person will feel loved through being physically close to their partner or loved ones.


Acts of Service

This love language is shown by performing acts of service or kindness for others. A partner or loved one might show their love for you by running errands, doing chores, taking out the trash, or helping you fix your car or something around the house. If this is someone’s primary love language, they’ll notice the little things you do for them and will do those things for you in return.


Giving and Receiving Gifts

People with this love language experience love by giving thoughtful gifts to others, and also receiving gifts in return. Someone whose primary love language is gift giving will take note of their loved one’s interests and take time to pick out thoughtful gifts for them. This does not mean that gifts have to be large or expensive; it is the thought behind the gifts themselves.


Whether your love language is words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, or gift giving/receiving, it can help to notice the ways in which you receive and show love to others and how your partner or loved ones receive and show love to you. With this awareness, we can better understand our needs and wants in our relationships.

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